I Took A Detox From My Fake “Friends”

By Kate Bucaro Free To Be Talks Facilitator and U.S. Program Liaison, Mental Health Advocate and Eating Disorder Recovery Speaker

When I decided to unfollow all influencers, I had no idea how many were actually showing up in my regular feed. Scrolling through perfectly curated images of women styled head to toe with designer brands had become completely normal to me. I was mesmerized by the way each influencer showcased their highly desirable lifestyle while promoting all kinds of products and quietly receiving commission for every purchase I made.  I was naïve to believe that each of these influencers “only shared products they genuinely loved”, and I found myself dissatisfied as I compared my ordinary life with the filtered grid of images that portrayed theirs. 

While Instagram started as a fun photo-sharing platform that allowed users to express themselves and create an online community, overtime it has spiraled into an addictive social media app that leaves users with harmful effects including thoughts of inadequacy, a fear of missing out, a disconnection from real life relationships and so much more. 

In the same sense, influencer marketing started as one of the most powerful marketing initiatives to reach target consumers across industries, and now it only adds to the long list of detriments on mental health. 

Now to be fair, it’s important for me to disclose that I am well-seasoned in the world of influencer marketing. I started my career working for a small integrated marketing agency and one of my primary tasks was to research, vet and pitch my client’s product to influencers that had significant clout with our client’s target consumers. I know the benefits of influencer partnerships for brands because I used to push those benefits on almost all of my consumer-focused clients. The process became second nature to me; pitch the influencer, negotiate payment and promote the influencer’s “honest” opinion about our client on their blog and Instagram… 

Read the full story on Thrive Global

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Why You Should Aim For More Than Being Happy With Your Body

As a society we have come to recognize that for far too long women have been dissatisfied with their bodies. We have grown tired of the restrictive diet of Photoshopped, ethnically homogenous, young women in our mainstream media. And for the last five years, largely thanks to grassroots movements on social media, we have finally seen people of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and ages fill our feeds, and more recently, our mainstream media. Women (primarily) are breaking free from corseted beauty ideals, being released from shame filled narratives, and becoming confident in their bodies. Yet something seems to be missing. 

Campaigns like How We Do Denim, from Fashion to Figure are helping to create acceptance around diverse body types.

In the last number of years, one of the popular methods to ameliorate body dissatisfaction has been to create acceptance around all forms of bodies. Yet, body dissatisfaction continues to exist. Why is this? I believe it is because we continue to have a singular focus on the physical body to the exclusion of our larger selves. The conversation often seems to stop prematurely; being comfortable in our bodies is good, being released from shame is good, but is there something more we could be aiming for?

When I scroll social media, peruse magazines, or read popular articles on various news outlets there has been a proliferation of #bodypositive content. People understandably want to feel comfortable with themselves and happy with their appearance. Yet, news stories continue to abound indicating people, primarily women, are still not happy with their bodies. Global News found 1 in 5 Canadian women did not like their bodies. Meanwhile, the Dove Global Beauty and Confidence surveyed over 10 000 females across 13 countries and found body dissatisfaction on a steady incline, and every year The American Society of Plastic Surgeons reveals that plastic surgery rates continue to rise from the previous year (from 2017 to 2018 overall rates were up 2%). 

What is going on here? I worry that a collective idea has emerged that developing a positive body image can be simplified or reduced to superficial memes about feeling confident, or posting selfies of our cellulite, wrinkles or fat.

If I think of my body as a vessel through which I experience life, is the highest goal to be comfortable, confident or happy with the appearance of my vessel? Taken one step further, if a voyager was to spend copious amounts of time posting photos of their vessel and stating how much they loved all the angles, you’d likely wonder, “Why aren’t you adventuring anywhere? Or, why aren’t you doing something more with your vessel?” 

Of course, we want to invest in the vessel because a vessel that is taken care of and well maintained is paramount for a successful journey. But it seems, that our collective societal focus on being happy or confident in a wide range of possible vessels (or bodies) continues to short change us because we are still focused on our vessels instead of preparing ourselves for the incredible adventures we could go on.

The research is quite clear for people who have a positive body image - they value and appreciate their bodies, and they spend time and energy cultivating the entirety of who they are. Developing a positive body image in the beginning can unfortunately feel like work. It may be difficult because we need to uncover the deeper issues that are creating discomfort and dislike in ourselves in the first place. Taking an honest look at our beliefs and habits and examining the impact they are having on our life is not easy or fun. But this process is incredibly worthwhile as we free ourselves from unrealistic expectations and stop falling prey to unhelpful thinking traps and unhelpful behaviours. 

Developing a truly positive body image becomes a lifestyle. It means protectively filtering the information that you view (e.g. if you feel like garbage after viewing a certain social media, it means you unfollow that one and any other similar account); it means recognizing that you have untapped potential and you need to cultivate the different qualities of who you are by investing in them (e.g. it means going off line and finding a hobby or learning a new skill); it means finding people that value you, not for your body or appearance, but for who you are as a person and providing the same environment where others can feel like themselves; it means shifting your internal voice to noticing and appreciating how your body moves and carries you throughout the day. 4,5

These things take time and aren’t captured in a #bodypositive selfie. We can continue to embrace every body type as good, but we need to individually and collectively shift our focus to something deeper than just our bodies. 

Our bodies are good and important, and if we truly want people to become more confident and happy in their bodies, we need to pursue body positivity as the hard inner work that it is. Rates of body dissatisfaction will shift substantially once we start to spend more time, energy and resources doing things not so hyper-focused on our bodies. We would become a more resilient, embodied, holistic people and the surprising by-product we would laugh about is that we finally learned to be comfortable and appreciate our body.

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References:

1 Global News (2015). 1 in 5 Canadian women not satisfied with their appearance survey. Retrieved here: https://globalnews.ca/news/2025789/1-in-5-canadian-women-not-satisfied-with-their-appearance-survey/

2 PR Newswire (2016). New Dove Research Finds Beauty Pressures Up, and Women and Girls Calling for Change. Retrieved here: https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-dove-research-finds-beauty-pressures-up-and-women-and-girls-calling-for-change-583743391.html

3 American Society for Plastic Surgeons (2018). 2018 National Plastic Surgery Rates. Retrieved here: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/documents/News/Statistics/2018/plastic-surgery-statistics-report-2018.pdf

4. Tylka, T. L. (2011). Positive psychology perspectives on body image. In T. F. Cash & L. Smolak            (Eds.), Body Image:A handbook of science, practice, and prevention (2nd ed., pp. 56–65).   New York, NY, USA: Guilford Press.

5Holmqvist, K., & Frisén, A. (2012). “I bet they aren’t that perfect in reality:” Appearance ideals viewed from the perspective of adolescents with a positive body image. Body Image, 9(3), 388–395. doi:10.1016/j.bodyim.2012.03.007

Objectify Me... For The Artistic Expression. Actually Don't.

The 2015 Pirelli Calendar has just been released. It was shot by legendary photographer Steven Meisel who recently said in a press release, “In my opinion, these are the key aesthetic models of today’s world. They represent the stereotypes that the fashion and star system impose upon us right now.”[1] Well Mr. Meisel, I agree with you completely there – the fashion and star/celebrity system is yet again imposing this narrow stereotype of what beauty and feminism is.

He goes on to say, “… Since I wanted to limit the use of clothes and accessories and since I had absolute creative freedom, I found it very exciting to play with the colours, the makeup, and the materials. It was a very rewarding experience.”

I am not against an artistic expression of beauty. I think playing with colours, make-up and materials can create powerful images. However, Mr. Meisel, the poses that you have shot these models in, is another beautiful illustration of how women are continuously sexually objectified. Women are dependably depicted in the media in ways that exclusively value their sexual and physical attractiveness.

Why is this so harmful?

Research tells us that the effect of living in a culture that sexually objectifies the woman’s body has negative impacts for both the woman and man who are viewing the sexually objectified picture.[2] When women consistently see images of other women sexually objectified it socializes them to think about themselves in terms of objects to be looked at and evaluated![3] Other studies have shown that after men view sexualized images of women they rate them as less capable intellectually and physically and score lower in egalitarian beliefs about men and women.[4]

Artistic expression is a beautiful thing. However, artistic expression that consistently portrays women in a one-dimensional narrow way is not beautiful, because the over all impact on the audience is detrimental.

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[1] Wilson, J. 2014, The Pirelli Calendar 2015 Just Keeps Getting Hotter (NSFW Photos). The Huffington Post. Retrieved from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/18/pirelli-calendar-2015_n_6177344.html

[2] Fredrickson, B. L., & Roberts, T. (1997). Objectification theory: Toward understanding women's lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology Of Women Quarterly, 21(2), 173-206. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.1997.tb00108.x

[3] Fredrickson, B. L., & Roberts, T. (1997). Objectification theory: Toward understanding women's lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology Of Women Quarterly, 21(2), 173-206. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.1997.tb00108.x

[4] Behm-Morawitz, E., & Mastro, D. (2009). The effects of the sexualization of female video game characters on gender stereotyping and female self-concept. Sex Roles, 61(11-12), 808-823. doi:10.1007/s11199-009-9683-8