Why You Should Aim For More Than Being Happy With Your Body

As a society we have come to recognize that for far too long women have been dissatisfied with their bodies. We have grown tired of the restrictive diet of Photoshopped, ethnically homogenous, young women in our mainstream media. And for the last five years, largely thanks to grassroots movements on social media, we have finally seen people of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and ages fill our feeds, and more recently, our mainstream media. Women (primarily) are breaking free from corseted beauty ideals, being released from shame filled narratives, and becoming confident in their bodies. Yet something seems to be missing. 

Campaigns like How We Do Denim, from Fashion to Figure are helping to create acceptance around diverse body types.

In the last number of years, one of the popular methods to ameliorate body dissatisfaction has been to create acceptance around all forms of bodies. Yet, body dissatisfaction continues to exist. Why is this? I believe it is because we continue to have a singular focus on the physical body to the exclusion of our larger selves. The conversation often seems to stop prematurely; being comfortable in our bodies is good, being released from shame is good, but is there something more we could be aiming for?

When I scroll social media, peruse magazines, or read popular articles on various news outlets there has been a proliferation of #bodypositive content. People understandably want to feel comfortable with themselves and happy with their appearance. Yet, news stories continue to abound indicating people, primarily women, are still not happy with their bodies. Global News found 1 in 5 Canadian women did not like their bodies. Meanwhile, the Dove Global Beauty and Confidence surveyed over 10 000 females across 13 countries and found body dissatisfaction on a steady incline, and every year The American Society of Plastic Surgeons reveals that plastic surgery rates continue to rise from the previous year (from 2017 to 2018 overall rates were up 2%). 

What is going on here? I worry that a collective idea has emerged that developing a positive body image can be simplified or reduced to superficial memes about feeling confident, or posting selfies of our cellulite, wrinkles or fat.

If I think of my body as a vessel through which I experience life, is the highest goal to be comfortable, confident or happy with the appearance of my vessel? Taken one step further, if a voyager was to spend copious amounts of time posting photos of their vessel and stating how much they loved all the angles, you’d likely wonder, “Why aren’t you adventuring anywhere? Or, why aren’t you doing something more with your vessel?” 

Of course, we want to invest in the vessel because a vessel that is taken care of and well maintained is paramount for a successful journey. But it seems, that our collective societal focus on being happy or confident in a wide range of possible vessels (or bodies) continues to short change us because we are still focused on our vessels instead of preparing ourselves for the incredible adventures we could go on.

The research is quite clear for people who have a positive body image - they value and appreciate their bodies, and they spend time and energy cultivating the entirety of who they are. Developing a positive body image in the beginning can unfortunately feel like work. It may be difficult because we need to uncover the deeper issues that are creating discomfort and dislike in ourselves in the first place. Taking an honest look at our beliefs and habits and examining the impact they are having on our life is not easy or fun. But this process is incredibly worthwhile as we free ourselves from unrealistic expectations and stop falling prey to unhelpful thinking traps and unhelpful behaviours. 

Developing a truly positive body image becomes a lifestyle. It means protectively filtering the information that you view (e.g. if you feel like garbage after viewing a certain social media, it means you unfollow that one and any other similar account); it means recognizing that you have untapped potential and you need to cultivate the different qualities of who you are by investing in them (e.g. it means going off line and finding a hobby or learning a new skill); it means finding people that value you, not for your body or appearance, but for who you are as a person and providing the same environment where others can feel like themselves; it means shifting your internal voice to noticing and appreciating how your body moves and carries you throughout the day. 4,5

These things take time and aren’t captured in a #bodypositive selfie. We can continue to embrace every body type as good, but we need to individually and collectively shift our focus to something deeper than just our bodies. 

Our bodies are good and important, and if we truly want people to become more confident and happy in their bodies, we need to pursue body positivity as the hard inner work that it is. Rates of body dissatisfaction will shift substantially once we start to spend more time, energy and resources doing things not so hyper-focused on our bodies. We would become a more resilient, embodied, holistic people and the surprising by-product we would laugh about is that we finally learned to be comfortable and appreciate our body.

Looking to work on media literacy in your community? Head here to check out our latest programs.

Want free resources on building up gratitude, managing stress, or something else? Head to our resources page for more!

References:

1 Global News (2015). 1 in 5 Canadian women not satisfied with their appearance survey. Retrieved here: https://globalnews.ca/news/2025789/1-in-5-canadian-women-not-satisfied-with-their-appearance-survey/

2 PR Newswire (2016). New Dove Research Finds Beauty Pressures Up, and Women and Girls Calling for Change. Retrieved here: https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-dove-research-finds-beauty-pressures-up-and-women-and-girls-calling-for-change-583743391.html

3 American Society for Plastic Surgeons (2018). 2018 National Plastic Surgery Rates. Retrieved here: https://www.plasticsurgery.org/documents/News/Statistics/2018/plastic-surgery-statistics-report-2018.pdf

4. Tylka, T. L. (2011). Positive psychology perspectives on body image. In T. F. Cash & L. Smolak            (Eds.), Body Image:A handbook of science, practice, and prevention (2nd ed., pp. 56–65).   New York, NY, USA: Guilford Press.

5Holmqvist, K., & Frisén, A. (2012). “I bet they aren’t that perfect in reality:” Appearance ideals viewed from the perspective of adolescents with a positive body image. Body Image, 9(3), 388–395. doi:10.1016/j.bodyim.2012.03.007

WARNING: We Are Being Watched as to How We Respond to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show

When you hear the words ‘Victoria Secret Fashion Show,’ what happens? Does your confidence slowly start to erode? Do you feel inspired after seeing the models strut the runway with the new lingerie? Or, maybe you cringe at the idea of hearing all the self body-shaming that occurs on social media the day before and after?

The inevitable VS Fashion Show has come and gone. Taking into consideration the different emotions and thoughts we have, here are two important issues I believe we need to address.

While I believe most of us like to feel beautiful, a desire that I consider perfectly healthy, the VS fashion show like so many other ‘celebrations’ of women treats us as though this is our only quality.

This is problematic because as the American Psychological Association states, when women consistently view other women depicted in such narrow ways we are negatively affected. Different ways we can be affected relate to sexual dysfunction, enforcing narrow attitudes, and beliefs about what femininity is, and can lead to an increase in mental health problems such as increase in depression and eating disorders, and a decrease in overall life satisfaction[1].

For me, the VS fashion show is the one of the most publicized reminders of the way that our society continues to celebrate and value women’s sexuality and physical attractiveness to the detriment of other qualities. Nevertheless, we must face the reality that in the coming years the Show ‘will go on’ and figure out ways that we can protect ourselves.

A) Be the example to others that women can be both beautiful and intelligent!

The media is a highly influential source of learning about gender norms and ideology.[2] With women like those in the VS fashion show being consistently portrayed in one dimensional ways research is able to show us that it actually socializes women to think of themselves as objects to be looked at and evaluated.[3] One recent study found that adolescent girls who viewed sexualized media internalized societal beauty ideals more often, which led to them valuing their appearance over being competent at a skill![4] While there are many ways that we can counter-act this, I believe there are some very practical and simple ways to begin.

 First, realize that while our beauty as women is not dependent on our body, much of our world continues to think so. Each of us have female friends who are skilled at things pertaining to business, athletics, academics or something else. It is important to empower and encourage other women in areas that don’t just pertain to their physique.

 Second, and this is something that we often fail to consider, younger girls especially are watching us to see how we respond to such depictions. If we want girls to grow up to feel empowered then we need to be examples and lead the way in showing how to value not just our bodies but the rest of ourselves. An interesting study has recently shown a correlation between a mother’s negative body-shaming talk and her daughter’s evaluation of her own body[5]. The study also stated that mothers have the power to help their daughters filter the cultural standards and challenge conventional ideas of what beauty is. It does not matter whether you are a mother or not because the point is that others are watching us. With research demonstrating that girls as young as 5 years old are developing serious disordered eating attitudes,[6] I think it is imperative we understand the influence we have on other girls.

 B) Realize you too can have the same confidence and power that the VS angel models exude in whatever endeavor you decide to pursue!

While casting the girls, Collection Creative Director Sophia Neophitou says, “It’s all about ‘Do they have the confidence, the power to captivate you in that moment when they are projecting themselves to one thousand people in the audience and the millions of people that are going to watch them on T.V.?’”[7]

Are they actually casting the women based on their confidence and power?

In part yes, but mostly no. Of course you want a model that is going to walk with her head held up high and project confidence. However, don’t tell us this is the main criteria right next to the “workout like a VS angel” video on the website. Months ahead of time, as many of the models confess they have strict work-out and diet plans before the casting call. Furthermore, women previously have been portrayed as submissive, and now part of the lure in watching the VS show is how the angels are so confident and assertive. However, that begs the question: What is confidence? How does a person powerfully captivate you?

Most social psychologists would argue that confidence can be learned, and that essentially YOU can fake it until YOU make it. Or in this case, fake it till you feel confident. If you stand tall, smile, look people in the eye, and raise your voice while you speak you will not only feel confident but will be powerfully captivating to the person you are talking too. Therefore going back to the appeal of watching the confident models, I would say that it does not matter that they are confident because the original problem is that they still are celebrated in terms of their bodies.  

 Bottom Line:

What we invest our energy into will influence us. Whether you decided to watch the VS fashion show or not this year, just remember to keep a critical mind. If watching the VS fashion show made you feel bad, next year do something that makes you feel good. Read a book or learn something new! Empower yourself in a way that does not mean you have to focus on your body.

 Remember that (a) your beauty should never be the sole focus of who you are and (b) you can learn to become a confident, beautiful and intelligent woman in whatever you decide to do – be it engineer, designer or home-maker. We, as women, are so much more than our physical beauty and we need to keep reminding each other of that!

Subscribe to receive blog updates from More To Her by Email

[1] American Psychological Association, Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. (2010). Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report-full.pdf  

[2] Behm-Morawitz, E., & Mastro, D. (2009). The effects of the sexualization of female video game characters on gender stereotyping and female self-concept. Sex Roles, 61(11-12), 808-823. doi:10.1007/s11199-009-9683-8 

[3] Fredrickson, B. L., & Roberts, T. (1997). Objectification theory: Toward understanding women's lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology Of Women Quarterly, 21(2), 173-206. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.1997.tb00108.x 

[4] Vandenbosch, L., & Eggermont, S. (2014b). The role of television in adolescents’ sexual attitudes: Exploring the explanatory value of the three-step self-objectification process. Poetics, 45, 19-35.doi:10.1016/j.poetic.2014.06.002

[5] Polak, E. L. (2014). Mother-daughter conversations about appearance: Body image development through joint projects (Unpublished doctoral dissertation). UBC: Vancouver.

[6] Rome, E. S. (2012). Eating disorders in children and adolescents. Current Problems in Pediatric and Adolescent Health Care, 42(2), 28-44. doi:10.1016/j.cppeds.2011.08.003

[7] Sophia Neophitou, (2013) Casting the 2013 Victoria Secret Fashion Show (Victoria Secret). Retrieved from http://vsallaccess.victoriassecret.com/2013/11/07/casting-the-2013-victorias-secret-fashion-show/